Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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