OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
