I cut my penus on the lid.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
