There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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