im about as happy as oj after his trial
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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