Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
