we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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