I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
