I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
