There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
