I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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