I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
