Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
