You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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