it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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