you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
