So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
