I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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