Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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