yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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