Nicole vs. Life
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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