i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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