I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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