Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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