I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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