You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I am naked and annoyed.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Help. Why am I so naked?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
