After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
