i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize