C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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