anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
false alarm, still single
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
