There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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