Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
