You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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