In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just forgot I was standing up.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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