i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
