You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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