Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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