Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We got so high we made milksteak
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
