I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
