I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
