Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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