Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Bring me that man meat
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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