so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize