Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
