yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
