My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
