i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
