Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
