when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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