I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
