Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
