I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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