dude i'm inner monologue high
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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