Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
