Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
