I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
