now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
