Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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