what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
